SpeekDaTroof: Standards Of Beauty & Insecurity

The discussion about Real Hair Vs. Weave really made me think about a very interesting question...Is it really the society we live in or the media's fault for some people feeling the need to follow the lead of what they see on television or is it really something that lies in the mentality of those particular individuals?

I know what i'm about to say won't be agreed with by many, because most people want to point the finger at society or the media, but in reality it falls more on the person who's influenced by those images.

I know women watch music videos and see these video vixen types and think that's what men view as the standard of beauty and some choose to try their best to match or get as close to that standard as they can. Some even feel pressured by it.

But when you fully analyze this, it actually boils down to how comfortable the person is in their own skin and their own level of self confidence. Those images can only affect someone in that way who has some sense of insecurity about their looks anyway.

There are different types of beauty displayed in magazines, videos, movies, ect., it depends on where you're looking and what you perceive as beautiful.

All the women were wondering why black women are criticized for wearing weave and make up or whatnot, and women of other races aren't. Now honestly, in my circles I don't hear black women being criticized for hair weave, make up or whatnot, but apparently it goes on.


My theory about people of another race making those criticisms is, hell, what's new? When aren't black folks unfairly criticized by other races for doing the same things they do themselves. It's been that way forever, so though it's unfair, it shouldn't be surprising at all.

Now as far as black men knocking black women for weave or what they may feel is over excessive make up...I see why some women feel it's a problem, but at the same time try looking at it from this perspective...A woman will complain about the fact of men not appreciating a woman's natural beauty, yet when a man says fuck wearing weave and asks her to go more natural, she takes issue with that as well. It's like which is it?

Do you want me to appreciate your natural beauty, or do you want to wear what makes you feel better about yourself and  just accept that? You can't have it both ways.

Some women want to complain about natural beauty not being accepted and feeling pressure to wear weave and get all dolled up, but then the same women complain when a person wants them to be natural and take weave and make up off like," naw nigga, i'm not taking my weave out my head or i'll never let my man see me that way."

So that sparks another question...Are you doing this for your man or are you doing it because it's what you yourself perceive as beautiful and makes you feel better about yourself?

If you have a man who likes natural beauty and wants you to go natural, and you're the one refusing to do so, you can never complain about having to reform to societies standards of beauty or point the finger at anyone else other than yourself.

The whole term standard of beauty is some bullsh*t to me, because there is no set standard for beauty. Beauty is determined by what each individual perceives beautiful to be.

So when people say they feel pressured by the media or society, or feel insecure because of the images projected in videos...That seed of insecurity was already there to begin with.

 If a woman knows she's the sh%t and is totally secure about who she is, nothing she sees on T.V., magazines, music videos, etc. will changed that.